I was asked by one of my old teammates to write a post for her blog. And here is what came out:
So the last time I posted on here was about 9 months ago. Around the time I was dealing with the aftermath of the thing I loved most being ripped right from my hand in December 2015.
And yes, I mean volleyball.
Simply put, I was torn to shreds and didn’t know what to do with my life. I felt like I had no purpose. Volleyball was all I had ever done. It’s how I paid for my school. It’s where I gained pretty much the only friends I had on campus. It’s where I spent a majority of my time. And it’s really all I cared about.
However, since then a lot has changed.
During the time I would have been playing my senior season of OSU volleyball, I was helping coach a varsity team at a nearby high school (my first real job). It helped me stay busy and try not to think about my dreams being lived out right in front of my eyes, without me. It also gave me amazing young girls to hang out with every day while I tried to fuel their passion for volleyball and joy for life. This is when I confirmed my love for working with kids, no matter the age, and impacting their lives through sports.
I also got to start my internships, focus on my classes, and try to get healthy.
But my biggest opportunity for a new outlook was my summer mission trip to Guatemala. It was a difficult but amazing trip for me; lots of manual labor, Spanish-speaking (the difficult part, I speak none…at all), new relationships, and growth. That is where I realized there is so much more than volleyball for me. There are other things I have been chosen to do. And whether you believe in God or not, I think we can all agree that each of us has a specific purpose in this life.
It took time to really buy into this renewed purpose. I was still very angry and bitter about everything I had worked for being taken away, and sometimes I still get caught up in fantasizing about the “shoulda woulda coulda’s”. But I was constantly being reminded: “patience”. I didn’t know exactly what for, but I just had to wait and see.
But here I am, almost 7 months from that Summer trip, patiently waiting for my time to come.
I moved back to California- a state I am not exactly a fan of due to the extremely high prices of food and the ridiculous traffic. I also moved away from my long-term boyfriend and the college-town I love (#1 college-town in the pac ;).
But I currently have a job that I love and enjoy. And I was able to move to San Diego to try to fulfill my new dream of being a professional beach volleyball player, God-willing. My goals of becoming healthy and taking it step-by-step will rely on one thing: being patient. Patience to see if my body will be able to handle training again.Patience to see if beach volleyball is part of the new and updated plan. And patience to see where God will use my passions next.
So it’s not so much ‘life after the dream’, but ‘life with an updated dream’